Baby Steps

So many people, so little time.

Make a decision, knowing there's mountains to climb.

Is it my turn? Am I prepared?

I'm really not sure; I'd say that I'm scared.

Angelic faces, parents aglow,

Cute little duckies all in a row.

One of them here and one of them there,

Can't look away, not meaning to stare.

Booties, frilly dresses, tiny mittens and caps,

Dollies and bum bums and buggies with flaps.

Darling, all-natural organic cotton clothes,

Everywhere I look - sweet button noses, fingers, and toes.

Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies.

Avoiding the topic, stifling my cries.

Please no offense when I tell you it's true.

The incessant inquiries are making me blue.

Put up a front, smile, and nod.

I'm getting quite good at this uncomfortable façade.

Go to the doctor and hope for the best.

I must get some sleep; give my mind a good rest.

Mom had four children, Gram Sophie had three.

Didn't give it much thought, wouldn't happen to me.

Feeling a bit stressed, with not much to tell,

Am I infertile? I try not to dwell.

Should I be concerned? Maybe this isn't for me.

I enjoy my independence; it's fun to be free.

Don't tempt fate, listen to my own advice.

Wish things were different; answers to my questions would be nice.

Blood tests and prescriptions, and check-ups galore.

This doesn't seem right, is there really something more?

31 and counting, so little time.

Made the decision, more mountains to climb.

Copyright ©2008 Sarah B. Paquette

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2/2 - Beta = 52 hCG, low estrogen/P4
2/4 - Beta = 112 hCG, 11 P4

Well, I got some semi-promising news from the RE this afternoon. My beta levels more than doubled this time and I'm advised to stay on progesterone and get b/w again on Friday. I suppose that I should feel more excited; however, I'm not getting my hopes up...in self-preservation mode, I guess.